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Hysterical Casserole

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Hysterical PMS Symptoms

They Say: Never Trust Anything that Bleeds for Five Days and Doesn’t Die.

And without further ado here is a dramatic visual interpretation of my day. I hope you enjoy it, or don’t, your choice. I know I didn’t. Well, didn’t enjoy today that is. I did enjoy creating my hysterical story though. Anyway, this title is too long so move along…

 

Scene: Breakfast-

Husband: “Good morning.”

Me: “If you say so.”

Husband: “I do.”

Me: “Well, you are not always right about things, sooo…” 

Husband: “What’s wrong with you?” 

Me: “Nothing is wrong, go away. HEY KIDS! ARE YOU DRESSED FOR SCHOOL YET? WE LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES!”

Husband: “Ahhh haaa, I recognize that wild look and growling attitude. This week is going to be so fun.”

Me: *illustration below*

PMS Symptoms
                        I DO NOT HAVE PMS!!

 

 Scene: Lunch-

Me: “Where did you put my chocolate bar?!” 

Husband: “It is right h…”

PMS Symptoms

Scene: Dinner-

Husband: “What do you want for dinner and don’t say chocolate because you already ate it all.”

Me: “I want a bowl of salt; sprinkled with mashed potatoes.” 

Husband: “Can you please be serious? What do you really want?”

*This is the part where I turn into a mama-hulk a.k.a “MULK” and now the rest of the story will be narrated by Andre the Giant’s voice.

Me: “A dozen white rolls, a can of bean dip, double shot of Spark, and a corn dog dipped in frosting and rolled in strawberry pop rocks.”

Husband: “I’m not going to let you eat that, gross.”

Me: “RAHHHHGGGAAAAHHHHH!! MULK SMASH!!! WHERE MY FOOD AT?! WHY NO SPRINKLES ON FOOD?  OUT OF WAY PUNY HUMANS! MULK NO LIKE PMS SYMPTOMS!”

Husband: “AAAHHHH! KIDS RUN! NO MULK! BAD MULK! PUT THE BABY DOWN MULK! NO NO EAT OUR YOUNG MULK! 

Me: MULK ANGRY! MULK HUNGRY! MULKS MOOBS HURT!! MULK GO TO BED AND CRY BIG GREEN MULK TEARS! RRAAAAGGHH WAAAAAAAH! 

PMS Symptoms
(What can I say, women are hormotional, if you can’t cry it out, laugh it off!)
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7 Comments
  • josandelson on July 8, 2013

    The green lady looks like me ALL the time! Did you get that from my photo album?

    • Jenergy on July 8, 2013

      Right?! Maybe we are long lost adopted step fraternal twin sister-in-laws separated at birth a few years apart? I mean, weirder things have happened.

    • Jenergy on July 30, 2013

      Mulk find like button for website. Thanks for suggestion human, raaaawwwwrrr.

  • MeliaS on September 11, 2013

    So comforting to know I am not alone. On second thought, I would prefer no symptoms. That would be so much better.

  • Marci on September 25, 2013

    Jen, this may have saved my husband from homicide on his way home from work today. Also, it inspired him to protect the children from killing themselves by interrupting my shower… which had already been put off way too long. I think I love you.

    • Jenergy on September 26, 2013

      I think I’m going to put a counter in on my front door with a sign on it that has the number of children that were saved in the making of this blog post haha! I love that so many others can relate to this. It’s a must read for husbands everywhere because… obviously. LOL

All-You-Can-Say-Buffet!

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