Parenting Tips in a Nutshell
Funny parenting tips in a nutshell…
Jallas: “MOM! Where is my back pack?” (Watching TV)
Me: “Hummm, closet?”
Jallas: “MOOOM, where’s my… uh…” (Continues watching TV intently)
Me: “Dude. Closet. Look there.”
Jallas: “Mom, I need my backpack for school! It’s got my homework in the place thingy, and a paper for you to sign and my water bottle and…” (With his eyes locked on the TV he taps his foot because half of him knows he needs to focus on the task at hand and the other half is sucked into cartoons).
Me: “Ahem.” (Standing with my arms folded watching him watch TV).
Jallas: “Moooo… Oh, there you are. Where’s my backpack?”
Me: “I told you, like, three times already.”
Jallas: “Ugh, seriously, you think you tell me stuff all the time but you don’t.” (Stomps off).
Me: “You don’t seem to have a problem listening to the television. Hey, maybe you should see if it would adopt you? When you get hungry go to channel 42, that’s the Food Network!”
Jallas: “Never mind. I found it in the closet, also the Food Network is actually channel 40 but nice try.”
Me: “In the closet?! You can’t be serious, why would it be in there?
Jallas: “I know, I know, you were right.”
Me: “If you would listen to me once in a while maybe you wouldn’t lose your backpack, forget your lunch money, or kick your nut cup at people in karate class.”
Jallas: “Yeah that was funny, everyone scattered pretty fast.” (Makes a flinching motion and pretends to scream. We both burst out laughing)
Now that Jallas is almost a tweenager we find ourselves butting heads over things like taking personal responsibility and safety seriously. We may not see eye to eye on this subject now but one thing that has helped us avoid arguments is to use dramatic humor to diffuse a difficult, scary, or embarrassing situation. Jallas had a moment like that last week and asked me if was “blog worthy” and immediately I said yes! Think about it, you can’t really stay upset if you feel like laughing. Just like you can’t really laugh without smiling, it’s more of an open mouth “huuuuuuh” sound. If you haven’t tried it, do so now. I promise it will make your day!
So anyway, last Wednesday night the boys were practicing their “sweet karate moves” on each other because they had a sparring test the next day at school. I decided to get their stuff ready the night before so we would be on time. I took out the permission form to make sure it was signed and noticed at the bottom it said that the boys would need an athletic cup to participate. Oh goodie, I get to go to Wal-Mart at 11:00 at night, I thought. Downton Abby you will have to wait, mama needs to go get her boys a nutty buddy. As if they didn’t look awkward enough doing karate let’s add that to the mix.
The teacher yelled: “Grow up boys, you all have one.”My reaction was giggling because, of course, the boys all have one. What else would they be protecting, their entire body? I imagined overly protective parents chasing their kids around with big plastic cups trying to protect them. “C’mere kids, it will be safe in the protective embrace of your Under-the-Butt-Nut-Hut. Yeah, it’s a little humid, but you’ll get used to it.”